The findings of a questionnaire highlighting abusive tendencies in the relationships of young people were recently made public by Women’s Aid, a national charity organisation working to prevent and address domestic abuse.
Women’s Aid has been running the #TooIntoYou campaign for the past three months to inform young women about warning signs of abusive relationships. A relationship questionnaire was also made available to the public alongside the tool.
Since the survey went live, over 20,000 people have taken it.
On the 14th, the results were made public. 93 per cent of women who took the questionnaire reported their partners have threatened to leak private photos or videos during an argument.
Of those who have been hit by their partner at least once, 83 per cent are afraid it will happen again. Almost three-quarters (72 per cent) of respondents reported that their significant other regularly checks their electronic devices. The majority (69 per cent) have experienced sexual coercion.
The aforementioned behaviours are all indicative of domestic abuse, more specifically coercive control.
Some young women had never heard the term “coercive control” before the #TooIntoYou campaign popularised it. An incredibly significant introduction, given that 1 in 6 young women experience it.
In Ireland as of January 1, 2019, the pattern of dominating and threatening behaviour known as coercive control was banned. Constant monitoring of internet activities, degrading treatment, being cut off from friends and family are all examples of social exclusion.
When one partner exercises coercive control over another, it makes escape more challenging. This can take the form of a threat to reveal sensitive material, such as nude photographs.
Sarah Benson, CEO of Women’s Aid, said it may be “incredibly damaging to young women’s emotional and physical well-being, and can result in them giving up work or education and becoming completely isolated from friends and family.”
As part of their Valentine’s Day strategy, the #TooIntoYou campaign hosted a pop-up booth in Dublin. They encourage people to talk about and learn about the warning signs that have grown commonplace among today’s youth.
“If these behaviors continue to be brushed off as ‘not a big deal,’ or excused as jealousy or insecurity then it creates a harmful picture of what young people should expect in their intimate relationships. We must call these behaviors our as abusive and unacceptable,” advocate for the #TooIntoYou movement Mary Hayes claims it is difficult to recognise the warning signals of abuse since they have become the norm.
“It sets a precedent for other unhealthy behaviours which can get worse and more dangerous over time.”
The director of the National Women’s Council (NWC), Orla O’Connor, responded to the results of the exam by advocating for changes to how sexuality is taught in schools. As important as it is for young women to learn to recognise warning signs in a partner, it is just as important that young males understand how to behave in a healthy relationship.
She goes on to say that there is “a long way to go” until young men’s misogyny, which encourages this kind of behaviour and the idea that males are inherently superior to women and so have the right to dominate them, is adequately addressed.
“The Irish as a society have successfully managed to stamp out other socially unacceptable behaviours in the past, but this is one area in which we are repeatedly failing,” says Doireaan O’Mahony, a barrister, author, and survivor of domestic abuse.
The #TooIntoYou pop-up event will be available for viewing through March 8th.
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